When a Daughter Stops Dancing With Daddy: Dirty Dancing
Sarah Smith and Lindsay Pichaske
Father-daughter relationship struggles usually seem too difficult for the subject matter of most movies. Yet even Dirty Dancing, which critics usually consider a shallow, cliché love story (Jahiel, 1988, p.1; Ebert, 1987, p. 1; Cunneff, 1987, p.8), depicts this much deeper sociology issue well. Critics overlook the complexities of father-daughter relationships and the changes that the main character, Francis Houseman, undergoes as she progresses from the father-worship stage, through the rebellion-stage, and finally to the independence stage. The movie reveals that fathers close to their daughters have difficulty allowing their daughters to mature. Although Francis’ relationship with her father seems to deteriorate as she grows independent, it actually evolves into a deeper, more sophisticated level, as Francis grows out of the father-adoration stage and forms her own identity separate from her father.
Before the Houseman’s 1963 summer vacation, 17 year old Francis and her father seem inseparable, for she embodies the typical characteristics of the father-worship stage and thus considers her father a hero. This stage in the relationship appears first in the father-daughter relationship of favored children. Up until this summer, her father, Jake, favors her over her other sister, Lisa, because Frnacis shares his views and models her opinions and behaviors after his. She worships him as a flawless hero because he represents the father archetype, or the stereotypical positive qualities a father possesses (Murdock, 1994, p. 71). She even states that she "thought [she] would never find a man as great as [her] father." Because she holds his views in such high regard, Francis models her behaviors and opinions after her father’s ideology (Murdock, pp.71-95; Fields, 1983, pp. 5-8). Since he encourages equality, she strives to make the world fair for each person. Hence, Francis’s father finds pride in Francis and her determination, affirming that "someday our Baby’s going to change the world." Furthermore, he spoils her, at one point giving her $250 without questioning the money’s use. Similarly, at the summer’s start, Francis obeys her father’s wishes without question, for she adores him and will do anything to please him; typical characteristics of the father-adoration stage. Although his wishes go against her will, she fulfills his request that she should help Neil, a rich Cornell student, with a magic show.
Francis’ father-daughter relationship may also stem from the lack of a strong mother influence. Francis’ mother, Marjorie, embodies the passive housewife stereotype of 1960s mothers. Because she hardly ever contributes meaningful insights to family conversations and problems, Francis views her as weak and dismisses her as a role model. Colman and Colman (1988) affirm that "daughters…feel compelled to grow up imitating their fathers, especially if they feel their mothers to be incompetent" (p. 87). Additionally, Marjories’s dullness may also cause the weak relationship she and Jake share. Their weak relationship thereby contributes to Jake’s favoritism of his daughter, for fathers who favor their daughters typically lack satisfying spousal relationships and create intimate father-daughter relationships to fulfill this emptiness (Murdock, pp. 72 & 176).Jake encounters emotional difficulty letting his daugher grow up and separate from him. Green attributes this difficulty to the fact that, "many fathers…get stuck in the ‘Daddy’s Little Girl’ syndrome, never able to adjust themselves to the scales of change" (p. 23). Because Jake considers Francis his "little girl," he always wants to oversee the decisions she makes, such as with whom she associates. However, because he disapproves of her associations with Johnny, a poor dancer, Jake avoids his daughter and the two essentially cease communication. Disapproval and jealousy appear when he gives her dirty, reprimanding looks rather than reassuring, positive looks. Murdock and Colman and Colman state that Jake's emotional stress also comes from the fact that when fathers and daughters separate, he loses his title as the flawless hero, for the daughter leaves the father-worship stage. As evidenced by his cruel treatment of Francis after she sees his overbearing qualities, Jake dislikes relinquishing this title.
Because of Francis' extreme admiration of Jake, she likewise has psychological difficulty leaving the father-worship stage and claiming her independence. According to Murdock, a daughter's "attachment to the father is so deep and the fear of losing him is so great that [father and daughter] cannot imagine any change in the relationship" (p. 171). Francis displays this fear of parting from Jake when she cries in front of him after somewhat leaving his giudance, claiming that she never wanted the relationship to change. Murdock and Colman & Colman additionally attribute the daughter's difficulty with separtaion to the fact that when they separate, he no longer views her as ‘Daddy’s Little Girl’ and she fears losing this title (pp. 174-175; pp. 88-90). Although she admires him and has difficulty separating from him, Francis, like moist daughters, must separate from her father to obtain her own identity (Murdock, p. 171; Pittman, 1994, p.1).
When Francis leaves the father-adoration stage and enters the rebellious stage, she develops her own judgement and abandons her father’s expectations. Murdock states, "[that] in most cases the daughter is the agent of change" and she achieves this separation through rebellion (p.172). Francis' rebellion primarily manifests itself in loving Johnny, a poor and uneducated dance instructor. Her father deems their relationship unacceptable because he believes that Johnny impregnated his dance partner and considers him a "sleazy" lower class citizen. Francis exhibits the typical method daughters use to break away from their fathers: choosing a mate whomher father distains (Colman & Colman, p. 91). Furthermore, like most fathers who "become threatened as their favorite daughters develop attachments to…other men," he views Johnny as a competitor, trying to detract Francis’ attention (Murdock, p.176). He thinks that because she dates him, she no longer deems their relationship special (p.176). Jake’s jealousy grows apparent when, upon saving Johnny’s dance partner’s life after her illegal abortion, Jake ignores Johnny and gives him hateful glances. Thus Francis keeps their involvement a secret and thereby grows estranged from her father, no longer sharing his views.
Besides her involvement with Johnny, Francis commits other insubordinate acts while in the rebellious stage to initiate the separation process. Her rebellious deception initiates the father-daughter separation process, because the daughter typically initiates the detachment process (Murdock, p. 175). Specifically, Francis breaks the resort rules when she befriends the lower class staff, also known as the "Dirty Dancers." She furtively attends several staff parties wearing skimpy outfits and dances provocatively as Johnny’s partner to Rock & Roll rather than attending organized dances wearing evening gowns and dancing the foxtrot to classical music. Francis even tells her parents that she has a headache, but then she goes out dancing at another resort.This movement away from her father’s guidance, between the rebellion and independence stages, makes Jake no longer consider Francis the favorite daughter and he claims not to know her anymore. When Jake discovers that Francis has befriended the "Dirty Dancers," he forbids her to see them. This reprimand occurs after he discovers that his money paid for an abortion. Another problematic confrontation occurs when Francis tells her father that she and Johnny sleep together, thereby agitating Jake so extremely that he refuses to speak to her. These situations occur because of the emotional difficulty fathers have when their daughters grow up no longer worship them as gods.
During the independence stage, Francis no longer views Jake as a god and breaks away from him after realizing his imperfection. Colman and Colman claim that "once the…father is no longer seen as god, all the smoldering negative feelings which have been subservient to the heroic imagery burst forth upon the now fallible man" (pp.88-89). When Francis realizes that her father, or role model, has faults, such as prejudice against the lower class, she no longer worships him, therefore breaking away and finding independence (Colman & Colman, pp.88-89). Francis recognizes her father’s mistake of misjudging Johnny simply because of his lower class status. Recognizing her father’s weaknesses shatters his flawless hero image he once had and she no longer strives to mirror his actions, but instead feels comfortable manifesting her own personality and dreams (Murdock, p. 174-203).[click here to view this scene].
In the final reconcilliation stage, Francis and her father reconcile, for Jake accepts that his favorite daughter has grown up a proud woman (Fields, pp.21-23). After seeing that Johnny has redeeming qualities, Jake realizes that his daughter has trustworthy character judgement. Furthermore, he realizes his mistake for prejudging and stereotyping Johnny. These new insights force Jake to apologize to Francis, and although their relationship has changed in that she no longer worships him as a hero, the two have found a new, deeper love for each other. They now mutually respect each other as adults, for Jake views her as a woman, no longer calling her "Baby," and he also hugs her after she and Johnny dance and thereby shows his respect for her decisions. Thus, although it seems that as daughters grow up, they grow apart from their fathers, the relarionship actually evolves and grows stronger, for father and daughter love and respect each other as adults. Thus, Fields considers this relationship change a vital part of both the father’s and the daughter’s happiness (pp.39-49). Furthermore, this change remains crucial to a favored daughter, because if she does not break away from her father, she will have a dependence that will remain indefinitely (Murdock, p. 174-200).[click here to view this scene].
Dirty Dancing shows that fathers have a major effect on a girl’s development. A father’s guidance determines the woman that his daughter will mature into as she reaches adulthood. Although the hardships of growing up and abandoning the father’s care and favoritism seem to destroy strong father-daughter relationships, they actually deepen and strengthen them. Thus, Dirty Dancing accurately portrays this drastic relationship change and the struggles accompanying the coming of age, thereby increasing its credibility as more than just a shallow love story.
Annotated ReferencesCannold, M. and Reuther, S. (1987). Dirty Dancing. Patrick Swayze, Jennifer Grey, and Jerry Orbach. Vestron Pictures.
Colman, A., & Colman, L. (1988). Coming of age: alienation and ambivalence. In The father: mythology and changing roles (pp.85-91). Wilmette, IL:Chiron Publications.
Colman and Colman inform readers of the changes father-child relationships undergo when a child grows up. As young adults compare their fathers to other men, they dispel the image of their fathers as flawless heroes and recognize their faults. Because teens want to forget or dismiss their role models’ faults, they break away from their normal family roles and develop new responsibilities apart from the family. Most teens view their fathers as their connection to the outside world, despite these faults, and thus aspire to imitate them. Young adults who negatively react to the discovery that their fathers have flaws, however, dismiss fathers as their role models and show anger and pity towards them. Daughters typically do not react negatively to realizing that their fathers have faults. They still wish to follow in their fathers’ footsteps, particularly if they do not identify well with their mothers or view them as weak. However, as an act of independence and rebellion, daughters commonly pair up with men whom their fathers dislike.