Draft Workshop 10/21 (Speech)

For Thursday's draft workshop, I delivered my speech to Mandy. I feel that my speech was received fairly well. There were definitely some strong points, but also some weak points. Mandy pointed out that since I am so familiar with my topic (financial aid) that it would probably help strengthen my speech if I included more pathos in the form of talking more about my personal experience with the current financial aid system. Since we are all familiar with financial aid, it would also help if I talked about financial aid from my perspective to help the ethos aspect of my speech. I will also try to back up my own ideas for the changes that can be made with more facts and statistics.

In order to improve my speech, I plan to add more pathos to my speech. I will include my frustrations with the complexity of the system as I experienced it first-hand last year when applying to college and for scholarships. I will also add more about the "sticker shock" I encountered when deciding where I wanted to apply. Since I was unsure of the amount of federal aid I would receive, I did not apply to any private institutions. I will use this to set up my argument as to how students should be provided with estimates of aid earlier in the college application process.