Draft Workshop 11/9
1. My name is Sam Kimball and I read Mandy Lloyds paper.
2. Does the paper fulfill the demands of the assignment? Does it have all of the elements we talked about in our class discussion? If not, list what the author needs to do to fulfill the assignment.
For the most part, you do a good job of covering all the bases as far as the demands of the assignment are concerned. However, one of the most important parts of this assignment is to analyze multiple posts. While you do mention a post, you don't really analyze it at all. You do a great job of talking about your qualifications and getting your enthusiasm about the subject across, but you don't have enough analysis of the actual blog.
3. The assignment asks you to convey your enthusiasm and to analyze some recent posts to the blog. Assuming the author has done both of these things, what kind of organizational scheme has s/he implemented to integrate these two aspects of the paper? Does it make sense? Is it effective rhetorically?
When I first started reading, it seemed like an organizational structure of some sort was going to be in place. It seemed as if you were going to lead in with your qualifications. However, that is what your focus seemed to be. You spent a lot of time explaining why you were interested in the topic and not enough of explaining your interest in the actual blog and analyzing it. Your enthusiasm shows through, but you must include analysis to supplement this enthusiasm
4. We talked a lot in our class discussion on Thursday about tone. Briefly describe the tone the author has adopted for the letter. Is this tone appropriate? Would a slight (or drastic, for that matter) shift in tone benefit the paper?
While I wasn't in class the day of this discussion, your tone seems very appropriate for this assignment. You use a very personal tone to get your excitement and enthusiasm across, but not too personal. Your tone is still formal enough to garner respect from the reader on your knowledge of the subject.
2. Does the paper fulfill the demands of the assignment? Does it have all of the elements we talked about in our class discussion? If not, list what the author needs to do to fulfill the assignment.
For the most part, you do a good job of covering all the bases as far as the demands of the assignment are concerned. However, one of the most important parts of this assignment is to analyze multiple posts. While you do mention a post, you don't really analyze it at all. You do a great job of talking about your qualifications and getting your enthusiasm about the subject across, but you don't have enough analysis of the actual blog.
3. The assignment asks you to convey your enthusiasm and to analyze some recent posts to the blog. Assuming the author has done both of these things, what kind of organizational scheme has s/he implemented to integrate these two aspects of the paper? Does it make sense? Is it effective rhetorically?
When I first started reading, it seemed like an organizational structure of some sort was going to be in place. It seemed as if you were going to lead in with your qualifications. However, that is what your focus seemed to be. You spent a lot of time explaining why you were interested in the topic and not enough of explaining your interest in the actual blog and analyzing it. Your enthusiasm shows through, but you must include analysis to supplement this enthusiasm
4. We talked a lot in our class discussion on Thursday about tone. Briefly describe the tone the author has adopted for the letter. Is this tone appropriate? Would a slight (or drastic, for that matter) shift in tone benefit the paper?
While I wasn't in class the day of this discussion, your tone seems very appropriate for this assignment. You use a very personal tone to get your excitement and enthusiasm across, but not too personal. Your tone is still formal enough to garner respect from the reader on your knowledge of the subject.
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