Council of Doom

DEFIANCE OF JAY
IN A DARING MOVE, THE LEADER OF THE JOHNSTONIAN CLAN
IS REPORTED TO HAVE MADE PLANS TO OUST ANGUS FROM
THE BROTHERHOOD OF YEE.
(Associated Press)

Jay pictured within his Mountain Lair.

RALEIGH-- In a turn of events most chilling to the closely-knit
Council of Doom, beloved member Jay has been charged with plotting
against fellow Council member, and "dear friend," Angus. Within this
scandal is a dark tale of devotion to the order gone awry, reminiscent
of the 1998 scandal involving Po, former leader of the Poek clan, who
denounced the Council of Doom and severed all formal ties with the
Cedar Palace.

Early Tuesday morning, agents working for the Council of Doom
intercepted a call between Jay and Heinrich Finklestein--a well known
foreign muck raker and political agitator. Officials have not yet released
the full dialogue from the conversation, but the excerpt below was made
available to the press:

JAY:
You know, there's just one thing that really bugs me about Andrew,
there's just one thing, and if I tell you, you have to promise never to
tell anybody else.

FINKLESTEIN:
As long as I get my weekly shipment of Fish & Chips from your folks
back in the Motherland, my lips are sealed.

Officials would not release anymore of the conversation, but noted
that Jay was "bugged" simply by Angus' moral fortitude, strength, courage,
and all around congeniality--which is actually several things, contrary
to what Jay claimed on the phone. At the end of the conversation,
it was made apparent that Finklestein's duty was to "expose" Angus
to the public--in effect challenging his "facade of good intentions" in the
hopes that Angus would be forced to resign from the Brotherhood of Yee.
Jay has showed aggression towards Angus within the Brotherhood ever
since Angus vetoed his "proclamation of w00tness," in which Jay planned
to promise a Nintendo in every classroom, and a bowl of M&Ms on every
teacher's desk.

It is unclear at this point how the members of the Johnstonian Clan will
react to their leader's political shenanigans, or even how the Council
itself will react--but it is certain that the Council will never be the same.

TO HEAR AN EXCERPT FROM JAY'S TELEPHONE
CONVERSATION, CLICK HERE.