UPCOMING SHOWS:
underlined date means it is confirmed

2007:

3/10/2007 Saturday, MARCH 10: Boner Machine, WZT Hearts, Ecstatic Sunshine, Lexie Mountain Boys (who are an all-girl group?)

Should be a lot of fun – the first ever all-man moustache machine! Or bearded machine if you will.

What was 6/22, was that 2004? Or 2005?

6/22 WED GANG GANG DANCE / BLOODLINES / BONER MACHINE

This is our almost biggest show yet this year. Bloodlines whatev but GANG GANG DANCE was in the New York Times! The owner of Local 506 (Glenn) is very excited about this show and so are we. Everyone will be there and we are going to debut some new CONCEPTS which will be sure to surprise you and challenge the way you perceive/dance to us. If anything at all can be said about this show... it will be.

Previous Shows:

NOTE *** If you have any pictures from any of our performances, digital or prints, PLEASE send e-mail through the "Contact" area of our website because I would love to see them and put them here on display for the world of cyberspace to enjoy!!!!!11!1



the first show was at nightlight in late August (28th?) with pterodactyl and stewart sineath.

the 2nd one was at cafe pane e vino and it was sarah's art opening

** it starts to get hazy after this

I think there was another show at nightlight

then there was a show that I wasn't at that was just ryan and lauren, I think that was on Nov. 22 2004 at the nightlight

There was supposed to be a show on Oct. 31 but that didn't happen at the last minute

then we played on wed. Nov. 10 at the nightlight with mount moriah, it was a benefit show for the skylight exchange, where we played wearing some stupid masks

On Friday December 3rd we played at Michele's house on Edwards Street for the physics department. It was our drunkest show ever?! Lauren made us some really fun headpieces by gutting stuffed animals. Lots of guests joined us on this set and 3 pizzas were burned in the oven. I

On Sunday Dec. 12 2004 We played a benefit for animals at the Cat's Cradle.  It was superb quality and our friend Mike recorded the show and soon it will be available on the internet FOR FREE!! This is one small favor we ask of you and it works out for both our benefits in a strange paradox. You get free MP3 recordings of boner machine's most audible show yet (correction: we were TOTALLY in top form at NightLight on Dec. 18), and somewhow, we make money!! The website for that recording is emusic.com/catscradle and you must search for Boner machine on there. It should be up within 2 weeks! And make money we will, because that's right boner machine signed their first recording contract this weekend. It all goes UP HILL from here baby, Bob Marley with yinyang eyes will see over that, jah watch over us. Do you think we sing songs about jah and feature bob marley with yin yang eyes at our show for no reason?? No, jah smiles upon us when we serve Him in the best way our wistful little minds may allow us. Please follow the divine directive and download our music at no cost to you.

we had a big show at the nightlight on Saturday December 18th  We performed with Rotten Milk, an experimental DJ from Chicago. Also present from Chicago was Soft Serve. Boner Machine was the 2nd group to perform, and we were in top form!  Then there is this group called extreme animals who really tore it up in so many ways. I think every time I have seen them perform, at some point the accidently broke their stuff and had to stop the show to do a quick repair and came back even harder. Check out their website at http://www.paperrad.org/extreme/ which is more primitive than ours.  Between bands there was hot DJ records from DJ Mothers-Brothers!!  Afterwards there was a parade down franklin st which drew thousands of local police who threatened to arrest at least two of us!

We played a show with Mowing Lawns on the Ides of March. Boner Machine lead you all into a new light and a new fashion when we took the stage at The Library, a fabulous LIQUOR BAR on Franklin Street in Chapel Hill. It was a Tuesday night indie rock showcase. We tried to tell the door guy to charge a sliding scale as it was all going to be for charity but he didn't understand. No matter, Boner Machine is giving their half of the MONEY to CHARITY! We made over $120 to send to Asia where they were hit so hard by the tsunami and lost so many of their lives and families and schools.  Our friend Pallas took a lot of awesome pictures which I hope to share with you all soon. There were 15 people in the band on this night. Our new friend Ryan Anderson celebrated her 18th birthday with us by sitting in on bongos, it was really hot and we were very honored to have someone to celebrate a life, a birth, as we also celebrated a death, the death of Julius Caesar in 44 BC. Everything is a big cycle of life and boner machine was an axle at the center of a life-wheel this evening. LONG LIVE BONER MACHINE!!!

Monday, April 4 2005:
MARCH MADNESS: OK, this was a weird one in that our plans were to have a big rock show instead of trivia night and everyone at trivia night would come out with all their noisemakers and costumes and gewgaws and brains and enjoy a surprise boner machine show instead of their regularly scheduled enema night, I mean trivia night. Well, it could have worked except THERE WAS A SILLY BASKETBALL GAME ON TV THAT THE WHOLE STATE WANTED TO SEE AT THE SAME TIME. In true boner machine fashion, everyone ditched us for the game except for 7 of our friends (they were probably podcasting it through their membranes though) who came to see us and the fabulous RADIO SHOCK from Jamaica, I think. Radio Shock played an exciting toy set and then also in true Boner Machine fashion we decided to "take it to the streets" - here is my account of what happened: boner machine decided to take it to the streets and play out on Franklin and be on TV, etc. but SOME of them were overzealous and ran way ahead as we were walking towards the 'action zone' and since they had cops lined up not letting certain items in, not everyone in the band could go in so when I realized that the crowd was so tight and retarded, I turned around and went back to the"entrance" point outside of Caribou Coffee and me and Sammy just played right there. He had a stainless steel kitchen sink strapped to himself and he played that and I played the ukulele. The rest of the band got split upand they EVENTUALLY made their way down to in front of the post office. There was no way I was going to go back into the crowds to try and find the other band and Sammy's sinks were determined a WEAPON by the PIGS so we just played by ourselves. We saw a ton of people we knew, and Sammy's mom came (yay!)  and we were interviewed by a news team who thought we were so bizarre that we must be drug freaks (we were in 'costume' too) and asked us REALLY stupid questions like DID YOU KNOW THAT THERE WAS A BASKETBALL GAME TONIGHT? while we were trying to just play music. There was even a random dude carrying a big poster that said BONER on it and we got him to come hang out with us on the corner and the sign was just a coincidence he said because BONER was the only word which could describe how he felt after UNC's victorious win. WOW. After it seemed we wouldn't find the rest of the group, or rather, they wouldn't come back to find us, we walked back through town towards Carrboro and serenaded at random open windows and parties. One party we almost went into because they said "WE HAVE KEGS! COME IN HERE!" and right when we were about to go inside we noticed a big W 04 sticker right outside the entry so we reversed and left that area pretty quickly. We all regrouped at Fuse later and drank until they closed and then Peter and Alexis and I went to the home of a friend and partied a little and then she and I and Peter on banjo all went to the little park across the street and drank wine while singing boner machine songs softly under the stars. VIVA BONER MACHINE!!!          ps This story will be updated with east-end accounts as they come in. A fracas was reported in front of the post office again. Perhaps we can get photos.

Thursday, April 14 - Our first COMPETITION?! READ ON, FANS!!!!

Bartender Olympics - Battle of the Bands featuring your favorite bartenders w/ JOHN HOWIE & CREW (The Cave - features members of Two Dollar Pistols and Sharkquest) vs BONER MACHINE (The Nightlight) vs RUSCHA (Reservoir) vs NEW GRANADA (Local 506 - features members of Fake Swedish, Leadfoot and Fashion Design) vs "Special Guests" (The Fuse)

Well, I thought we played a great show on this night. It was beautiful outside and we had special guest Lindsay on violin who is such a whiz that she did not even need to practice with us before playing our songs. We opened with a little "free-noize" and then we played 3 or so hits. Several people gave us a "negative affinity" rating which doesn't even MAKE SENSE so of course you KNOW there were morons in that crowd. For the rest of you who voted us a "10" we salute you. We averaged a 4.8 and didn't win the paintball gun or bitched-up trophy. It was so cool because even though we did not win the big prize, Hoppy from the Cave bought us a 6-pack of Fuller's ESB which is the best beer in the world, to date!

May 3rd: James' mom adds us to the PETA website.

Sunday, May 8 - At the NIghtlight with TigerBearWOlf and Facedowninshit - Here we had a show with 2 bands, one who didn't like us, and one who really likes us a lot. The band who did not like us (who will remain nameless) got into a fracas with the band who liked us, over their difference of opinion about our performance. Egged on by their spiritual advisors and also Jesus/Jah, the band that liked us proceeded to put the other band in their place, ie: fisticuffs.

ON Saturday May 14th we headlined a Noise Festival at the Nightlight called NO FUTURE FEST '05. It was really cool and we did not get paid. Not that we didn't attract dozen(s) of people who otherwise might not have attended, but through our own charitable goodness, we gave the money to the out-of-town bands, now on to the show details: We were supposed to play at 11, and then midnight, so most of bonermachine told their friends that and even though the bands were playing really short sets, they all had 20 jillion pounds of electronic "equipment" to hook up like computers and chainsaws and vibrators so when 1:45AM rolled around and there were still 4 bands before us, we all got ancy and mean and played a "dumpster dive" set in the back of nightlight where we pulled out all the stops and stopsigns and beat on things we found in the area - it was a community jam. That went on for an hour or so (see pictures on the website sooner or later) and then we played an indoor set as we were supposed to. The people who stayed around for it werer treated to an acoustic assault and floorshow which included James on electronic WHIZZARDRY and the rest of us on Acoustic Floorshow. It was more erotic than can be expressed here and again you will have to see the pictures.

TBD: swimming pool show, Fri. 6/10 Show @ Wetlands

I am going to update this past-show info as I can recall it. It has been a long time since the last update, so I must apologize, but rest assured that as Boneroids fill me in on forgotten memories, you all will be the 1st or 2nd ones to know about it - ALL of it!