America offers a seemingly endless supply of opportunities to aspiring, diligent, and hard-working individuals in the 21st century. It is because of the progressive movements of those who came in the preceding decades that women in particular are able to enter into careers and to explore opportunities formerly unavailable.

While one would like to think that because of the inclusive attitudes toward all people in contemporary society, women could soar into a plethora of opportunity as well. However, the truth remains that certain responsibilities remain on the roles women lead if they choose certain options in life. As students, we can investigate these options and discern which choices to make and when, thereby learn from those whom have come before us to prepare for a fulfilling lifestyle.

Marriage

For many individuals, the decision to marry is important, and the role of women in marriage continues to be debated. Father Scott E. McCue, M. Div, a Catholic priest at St. Thomas More Church in Chapel Hill, expressed the importance of a woman's role in society and the family life-be it through financial support or through caring as a mother. "Marriage is an equal partnership, where man and wife enter into an equal agreement. The purpose of marriage is for unity and procreation-as a mother she should provide for her family, be it financially or otherwise."

Katie A. Brown, a 20-year-old junior psychology major from Charlotte, N.C., wants to follow in the role that Father Scott describes. She is working to complete her education in order to become a wife and a mother sometime in the future.

"When I get married and I have children, I don't want to work-unless I have to for financial reasons. My kids and my husband will be my passion, which will fulfill me more than any job I will ever have."

Brown felt that her time spent in college would not be a wasted investment. She said that becoming an educated and intelligent person would help her beyond the practical aspect of what she studied in school. According to Brown, "Even if you are not partaking in a career, you are still becoming an educated and an intelligent person-whether you're a mom or a doctor."

"I think children raised by their own mother are better off. They're more secure in their social development, and I can instill my own ideals better than a caregiver. It's important to be involved in my children's lives."

Father Scott gave advice on marriage to young people and said, "When I entered the priesthood, I made a commitment for life. Marriage should be thought of in this same way-not as something that can be thrown away if it doesn't work out later."

"I think people need to be open to discerning what their call in life is (be it to marriage, a single lifestyle, or religious calling), to take the time they need to really think about the decision they are making. They need to realize that there is no going back."

Balancing Act

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Raven M. Barron, 21, plans to finish college at UNC in Dec. of 2003. While her permanent plans are still somewhat jumbled, she says that she hopes to teach high school for a few years and to get married one day. Often two incomes in a family are necessary to adequately provide for living expenses, and it seems that the days of the "sole bread-winner" are coming to an end.

Barron said, "It is very important that I get at least my master's degree, if not my Ph.D., before I start a family. I have seen my mother struggle. She and my father were limited by the choices they made when they were younger and the fact that they did not completely follow through with the goals they had for themselves. They find themselves at a dead-end now after having four kids and are unhappy with their careers."

She said, "Whatever job I have, I want to see my children grow up, and that means being home when they get off the bus and being able to take them to Scouts and to see their recitals. I think it is a commitment, and if one chooses to have a career and children, it is possible to do a good job at both, but it must be well balanced."

Barron's plan to be stable and secure before she commits to marriage and the family life is well founded. Her willingness to adjust her plans as her life progresses can be echoed in the lives of women professors at UNC.

Career

Some individuals choose to remain single in their life to pursue a career as their vocation. Women of such caliber are often found in demanding jobs like those in the law or medical fields. However, the most dedicated of workers can actually be found in the most serene of places-the Church.

Father Scott stressed the important role women play in modern life. He said, "Some of the greatest tasks around the world have been completed by the work of holy women, in establishing schools and hospitals in order to pass on the faith."

These women are often celibate and religious, known to many simply as "nuns." In a search for further understanding of this topic, Sister Marie St. Paul desired to let people know about another option available to women.

Sister Marie, a Winston-Salem local, will enter into her 50th year of service in 2002 as a nun. She first dreamed of entering a convent when she received theological instruction in high school. She said, "The main job of nuns was education, so I taught elementary school for 35 years." She later became a principal and became very successful in her vocation.

She later worked for an organization to help the poor that was based out of Washington, D.C., called So Others Might Eat (S.O.M.E.). All the women she worked with were poor, and some struggled to recover from alcohol and drug addiction.

"The difference between a vocation and a career is an important distinction to understand. Since grade school, I wanted to be like one of the sisters. I want more people to understand that a vocation is what you do with your life that makes you happy. I have loved being a sister and a religious vocation makes me happy."

Advice on Having Children

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"A woman has the potential to do anything she wants to do," said Carol Pardun, Associate Professor of Journalism and Mass Communication, and mother of Grace and Graham Pardun, both 19. She and her husband, Gary, made sacrifices in the pursuit of their career when they decided to have children.

"I think part of the problem in our society is that we term (having children) as a 'woman's problem.' Instead, it should be a 'parent problem.' Both parents ought to figure out how to make parenthood work." Pardun explains that for some people, a joint sacrifice could entail several options. For some, she said, it could mean, the husband works while the wife stays at home; for others it could mean both stay home part time and work part time; and still others it could mean the husband stays home and the wife works. "It's the kind of thing that you have to constantly re-evaluate, year by year."

She said, "Too often, men neglect their responsibilities at home. When you have children, you have the obligation to care for them and prepare them for adulthood. Sometimes, that means you have to sacrifice-maybe only temporarily-your career goals. This is something that both parents should struggle with."

To female students today, Pardun advises adopting a wide lens to view the future and to remember: "Many sacrifices are short term." It is the short-term pain that brings about long-term gain.

Other options?

Even in contemporary times, it is evident that society provides plenty of restrictions on women. Why should they bother with practicing a religion if it brings about more stipulations? An examination beneath the surface of religion many yield answers to a freedom and liberation for which many women yearn, and which is evident in the realms of the Catholic Church.

Father Scott expounded on women's issues concerning the way women are addressed in the Church. He said said, "I think if we're looking for the best example of women in the Church can be found with Mary, the mother of Jesus, who was one of the greatest humans in the world because she was entrusted with bringing Christ into the world. When she is honored, all the women are honored."

Decision Time

Regardless of your desires in life, the simple fact remains that women must make choices. Take the following advice of a few successful career women, including professor Carol Pardun, to get that extra step up the ladder of success.

First, if you decide to marry, be careful about your choice. Make sure this person believes that women have equal right to be successful in the workplace. Make sure he believes in the concept of parenting. Make sure you share the same kinds of goals and desires. Make sure that self-assured women do not intimidate him. Secondly, plan when you have your children, and think about how many children you want to have. Decisions for the future hinge on these points.

Lastly, as young women of the future, remember that whatever path you choose, make sure that you pursue it with a vengeance and a passion. You have one life to live, so make the most of it.

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