LOUIE LANCE

200 Westminster Dr., Apt. 131 K

Chapel Hill, NC 27514

Phone: (919) 968-9696

SUMMARY:

Extremely loving.

Can slobber a room in 2 seconds flat.

Snores and farts with the best of them.

Highly disobedient.

ALIAS:

Little Lou

Little Louie Lance

Sausage

L.L.Cool L.

EDUCATION:

Mistakes were made.

CITIZENSHIP:

United States of America

THESIS:

How to Obtain the Optimal Number of Treats and Pets with the Least Amount of Work.

PUBLICATIONS/WORKING PAPERS:

How to Sleep 23 Hours Per Day, Rising Only to Eat, Wet, and Get Pets-Work in Progress

Paw Sucking-It's Nothing to be Ashamed Of-Work in Progress

LANGUAGE SKILLS:

Barking and Growling

Some English-Sit, Come, Stay

REFERENCES: Furnished Upon Request.