Draft Workshop October 7
Draft Workshop Form – October 7, 2004
1. My name is Zack and I read Jacob’s paper.
2. What do you think are the most promising counter-arguments to the author’s claim? Have these counter-arguments been acknowledged and dealt with effectively in the paper?
The most effective counter-arguments to this papers claim are the following: John Kerry himself will hurt small business in America because under his new tax policy which will raise for families making 200 K or more each year will also affect many small businesses who fall in the same tax bracket. Small businesses do not need to be discouraged by higher taxes since they are going to be providing many jobs. Another argument against Kerry will balance the budget is the fact that if you total all of the program spending Kerry has proposed and promised…it is well in excess of what bush is already spending. Even with raising the taxes the revenue produced comes no where near making up for this difference.
3. Does the paper have a tight, cohesive and powerful thesis statement?
This paper does not have a clear and organized thesis statement. There is the implied thesis is that Kerry is better for the economy than Bush; however, it needs to be more substantial and direct. Jake needs to include how and why and succinctly put it in a sentence.
4. Does the author make use of the varied rhetorical strategies we discussed in class? Does the author overuse any particular strategy? Does s/he neglect any?
The only one of the rhetorical strategies Jake uses significantly is the logos. He goes logically into why one candidate is better than another. However, he could improve this strategy by using cold hard statistics instead of generalizations. Jake might want to focus more on pathos as well because losing a job can be a very emotional process. Using pathos will make people sympathetic towards this issue and thus pay more attention to what you have to say.
5. Does the author support his or her assumptions and conclusions with authoritative evidence? Identify at least one point that might be supported by additional or alternative types of evidence.
You could make the argument more effective if when you are talking about the Bush deficits you show how much they have grown in relation to other presidents. This will have more of a convincing effect on people than simply saying he has increased the deficit. You could also go into the economic reasons as to why this is very undesirable for the nation as a whole.
1. My name is Zack and I read Jacob’s paper.
2. What do you think are the most promising counter-arguments to the author’s claim? Have these counter-arguments been acknowledged and dealt with effectively in the paper?
The most effective counter-arguments to this papers claim are the following: John Kerry himself will hurt small business in America because under his new tax policy which will raise for families making 200 K or more each year will also affect many small businesses who fall in the same tax bracket. Small businesses do not need to be discouraged by higher taxes since they are going to be providing many jobs. Another argument against Kerry will balance the budget is the fact that if you total all of the program spending Kerry has proposed and promised…it is well in excess of what bush is already spending. Even with raising the taxes the revenue produced comes no where near making up for this difference.
3. Does the paper have a tight, cohesive and powerful thesis statement?
This paper does not have a clear and organized thesis statement. There is the implied thesis is that Kerry is better for the economy than Bush; however, it needs to be more substantial and direct. Jake needs to include how and why and succinctly put it in a sentence.
4. Does the author make use of the varied rhetorical strategies we discussed in class? Does the author overuse any particular strategy? Does s/he neglect any?
The only one of the rhetorical strategies Jake uses significantly is the logos. He goes logically into why one candidate is better than another. However, he could improve this strategy by using cold hard statistics instead of generalizations. Jake might want to focus more on pathos as well because losing a job can be a very emotional process. Using pathos will make people sympathetic towards this issue and thus pay more attention to what you have to say.
5. Does the author support his or her assumptions and conclusions with authoritative evidence? Identify at least one point that might be supported by additional or alternative types of evidence.
You could make the argument more effective if when you are talking about the Bush deficits you show how much they have grown in relation to other presidents. This will have more of a convincing effect on people than simply saying he has increased the deficit. You could also go into the economic reasons as to why this is very undesirable for the nation as a whole.
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